OEEG: Dear Doctor

Foreward: Every once in a while, television comes along and does something out of the norm. It reaches that end of the bell curve where it transcends its subject matter and tells a story that is inspiring or thought-provoking, to cause you to reflect. Sometimes, it can almost feel like an epiphany.

This episode is at the opposite end of that bell curve.

Judging Dear Doctor reminds me of when I had to review Tattoo. That Voyager episode, I admit, was well-done as far as being structured. However, like Dear Doctor, it was also at this wrong end of the bell curve. Its premise was insulting, its message the worst kind of condescension. It was a love letter to racism in a genre that had once tried to show us the pointlessness of such a philosophy.

In much the same way, Dear Doctor has some good moments to it. It puts Archer into the position of those he's always despised, and if the episode had been about that, it probably could have worked. But it couldn't stop there, couldn't leave well enough alone. It raised the stakes... and rolled boxcars. Some were surprised that I gave Tattoo a 1 as a rating in spite of its positive traits. Was I really saying it was worse than, say, Elogium or Initiations, which are almost unwatchable? I think putting it that way makes it easier for me to say yes - it is an episode that, regardless of any positives, has at its center a message so morally reprehensible the program itself is irredeemable. Some say that whether you agree with the final decision or not, you have to give them credit for giving an ending to talk about. I don't accept that. You spend half an episode farting around, and then cram the moral dilemma into the last couple of minutes and expect to get full credit? No, sorry, we're closed. The position is on its face repugnant, using the word "evolution" as if it were Jack Bauer's badge, allowing him to gun down any race in the name of the cause. People throw that word around as a justification for any action no matter how despicable, people who apparently forget that holy and wise evolution has as its central premise: the weak must die. Evolution says a premature baby dies. Evolution says a man with bad legs dies. Evolution says a person with diabetes dies. Evolution is a scientific concept, not a moral benchmark, and what is worse is that it is not properly applied here anyway. This is the same misapplication that we saw in the godawful show Threshold, except here it's worse. In that case, it was to justify the nonsensical events of the plot, but there were no long term effects. In this case, the crew of Enterprise have now effectively performed genocide, because I see no difference between this and a man with a life preserver slowly watching a man drown without aiding him... except this is even worse. Say what you will about a murderer like that, but I doubt he'll go back and tell everyone how moral it was to watch a stranger die.

Thanks to this, I cannot say the words "Prime Directive" without having the urge to spit.

Normally I watch every episode twice before I even start writing, but I'll admit that I've written all this immediately having finished the episode the first time. The thought of actually sitting through this thing again makes my gut tighten. I would rather have the Worst of Brannon Braga And Kenneth Biller Marathon going than watch this one again. But I will, because it's my job. I'll try to remain objective.

Description: So we see Dr. Phlox, that baby-murdering f*ckhead-

Sorry.

Description: So we see Dr. Phlox, that guy with an ass for a forehead-

Sorry again.

Description: So we see Dr. Hitler-

Eh, I'm rolling with it. If the jackboot fits, goosestep.

So we see Dr. Hitler feed the various critters in his sickbay to help fill out the teaser. Get used to this, because a lot of this is padding that's masquerading as character development. He gets a letter from Dr. Lucas, who's also in the Interspecies Medical Exchange, and is the basis of the "Dear Doctor" title. It's a different take on the entire personal log shtick that the character can provide their thoughts to allow us some insight. It can work well, like in DS9's In The Pale Moonlight, when Sisko unburdens himself after committing a number of unethical and illegal acts to try to turn the tide of the war, but again, this time it just falters because all we hear is Phlox praising their moral bankruptcy - but I'm getting ahead of myself.

So we listen as Dr. Lucas gives his letter, telling us a little more about Phlox's people than we really need to know, like their mating season, which... it's not something I really want to think about. We also see Phlox going about his duty. For instance, he casually strolls through the halls of the ship and winds up in Engineering, then slowly climbs up to where Tucker is sitting with an injured proto-Redshirt... ah, so I can see why he took his time, it's not as if burns are painful and potentially serious or anything. Hey doc, even Redshirts have feelings. In fact, he seems more concerned about the case of indigestion he treats in the next scene, which involves Archer's dog no less. Nice to see where Redshirts rank.

The next scene is as close as this episode is going to get to greatness, by showing us the crew watching For Whom The Bell Tolls, with Gary Cooper and Ingrid Bergman. I suppose that a film about death is rather appropriate for this episode, considering how it resolves - I mean, this is Hemingway we're talking about. Him and the other authors of the lost generation kind of prove history has always had emos. Anyway, I'm getting off the subject, but then, the further I get away from the actual episode the better. Phlox comments to Ens. Cuttler (the B crew member from back in Strange New World) that movies lost their appeal on his homeworld when people realized their real lives were more interesting. Yeah, I saw Network too, and Howard Beale said it a lot better.

Well, after we see Tucker weeping during the film (don't worry, he also cries during Hee Haw) we get more of Phlox and Cuttler out in the hall. I know I gave a long essay on how annoyed I was at the lack of supporting characters in Enterprise, so this will probably seem odd, but I could do with less of Cuttler. She's just annoying after a little while. Also, there was this little cheeseball exchange that didn't get any better even after a second viewing:

CUTLER: Oh, easy. The seat of all joy and sadness, [the heart].
PHLOX: Physiologically, it is nothing more than a very efficient pump. What could possibly make you people think it is the source of all emotion?
CUTLER: You know, you may know about our cardiopulmonary system, but you have a lot to learn about the human heart.

Yawn. Right out of Creative Writing 101. Plus, all he's doing is enquiring about the human oddity of viewing the heart as a seat of emotion, which objectively it is a funny bit of our culture. To not understand that doesn't mean you don't understand human emotion, and to think otherwise is idiotic, which between Strange New World and this episode I'm starting to think is one of Cuttler's main characteristics.

Anyway, with the first act complete we now get down to the actual story. That's right, we wait until a full ten minutes into the episode to actually start, the rest is just padding masquerading as character development. In another episode this wouldn't bother me so much, and maybe would even be an asset, but in this case, we are going to spend just as much time handling a serious moral dilemma as we spent on the movie scene. That's right, we spend the same amount of time watching someone else watching a better show. If I seem bitter, try to remember that fact - I could be watching Ingrid Bergman speaking the words of Hemingway instead of Cuttler spouting pulp novel trash lines.

Finally something happens and they find a ship, but it's not warp capable. On board are some aliens, pretty sick. After a little bit of work, Hoshi gets the universal translator to work out their language, and the aliens explain that they left their world more than a year ago, hoping to make contact with a warp-capable species; apparently they'd already met the M'klexa, a species made up for this episode, and the Ferengi, who are only mentioned in passing. They figured that if they found someone with warp technology, they'd also have the ability to cure their disease. Their species is very sick, you see, and twelve million died the year they launched their rockets. They now ask if Enterprise will help. For some reason, now of all times Archer decides to ask T'Pol's opinion on whether or not they should do it. Huh? You've ignored her at every opporunity until now, and suddenly, when the fate of millions or billions is at stake, now you want to take your lead from her? Well, T'Pol approves, so Enterprise heads over to help them out.

Now, rather than spending time fleshing out the upcoming moral dilemma, we are instead treated to a scene of Hoshi and Phlox speaking in Denobulan over dinner about run of the mill shit. She also picks the wrong words because that is so funny. We're saved from this scene by the arrival of the plague hospital; I'm sorry for their suffering, but if it ends that exchange I suppose it's a necessary evil. Well, turns out one out of three people on this world are infected by now. They explain how serious it is and discuss some ways to treat it. T'Pol is also concerned that someone might be tempted to swipe some of Enterprise's technology. Archer's indignant at first, but she points out that other species are often tempted by the presence of advanced technology... yeah, sound familiar, Archer? Probably a little too, as he doesn't seem happy about it. Get used to it, pal... this episode is going to turn you into everything you hate. Darth Duchess is waiting (heavy breathing)

Meanwhile, Hoshi asks someone how one of the aliens they brought back was doing, but the guy speaks back in gibberish. Turns out he's a Menk, a different species from the other aliens, the Valakians. They're not as evolved, but the two species co-exist in peace. It also turns out the Menk aren't getting sick, but so far they haven't figured out why. Also, just because it amuses me, I'll mention that the doctors said that the "Menk and Valakian are physiologically incompatible." How fun, that in a series where it's common for aliens on opposite sides of the galaxy to unintentionally conceive children that two sentient species on the same planet are incompatible. That's like saying you can't mate a chimp, but you can with an oak tree.

Well, we now have an important medical clue, so again, off to tangential minutia rather than saving time for the moral dilemma. Phlox talks with Cuttler about having her come down and assist in his research, since she's an exobiologist. We also see him treating T'Pol for a cavity. Nice to see he's devoted to the task of curing the Valakians. Yeah, sure, supposedly he's got the computer analyzing things, but there's nothing else he could be looking over instead of this trivial problem? Even T'Pol sees it's a minor thing compared to what he's working on, but he insists. What's more, he starts asking her about her experience with humans pursuing relationships outside their species. Wow, a species is on the verge of extinction, and all he can think about is wearing Cuttler's ass like a hat. That doc in the letter wasn't kidding about how nutty the Denobulans can get with mating season.

Well, the computer results come in, and apparently it's enough to get Phlox's mind off of pussy, because he tells Archer the disease isn't due to a pathogen, but because of a genetic problem. It turns out the species will be extinct in two centuries. Archer pushes Phlox to try to find a cure, so Phlox plans to continue studying the Menk. So they began getting blood samples from the locals and chatting it up with them. They live in a primitive village nearby, and everyone is wowed because one of them says "Food" and another sorts the samples by family. Phlox is quite pleased with this, but Cuttler is glum, saying that the Valakians are mistreating the Menk. Phlox points out that on other worlds, the Menk would have been driven to extinction long ago, but that the two have found a way to co-exist which is rather admirable. To my mind, it's especially true now; when a third of the population is dying and one group of people is spared, you'd think there's be some seriously screwed up problems going on, with martial law and all that. This world seems to be doing examplary under the circumstances, but Cuttler's still not happy. Whatever, her whining all episode has actually managed to earn her the coveted Most Annoying Character award, which is a hell of an achievement when you beat out two men who commit genocide.

Phlox does finally at least demonstrate a point coming from all the filler here. He points out he has three wives, who each have two additional husbands, which is perfectly normal on his world. He uses this to illustrate that cultural differences, like that between her and the Valakians, color her opinion of them, so doesn't this information color her attitude towards him? Probably does, to tell you the truth. Cuttler strikes me to be as open minded as a Puritan jury in a witch trial.

Meanwhile in the hospital, Archer is talking with one of the alien astronauts. He appreciates all they're doing, but says that if Phlox can't succeed, their species is doomed - a million people would die before they even got out of their system. He says that if they had warp drive like Enterprise, they could try to find someone else to help them, leaving Archer feeling rather uncomfortable. When he returns to Enterprise he learns that the desperate people have been pleading with Enterprise for help, some mistakenly believing they have a cure. Archer takes T'Pol aside and discusses the request for warp drive. T'Pol observes that even if they were given the schematics, they couldn't build one, and Archer comments that with no antimatter experience, they probably don't realize how dangerous it is. If only they were as advanced as a guy who lived in a lean-to in Montana. His conclusion is the reluctant realization that they're not ready for it... he wonders if maybe they could stay and help, and T'Pol points out that the Vulcans did the same thing on Earth ninety years ago, and are still there. Thus, Archer finally starts seeing things from the Vulcan point of view, and if this was further explored, it could have really been a great moment for the series. Of course, that would get in the way of the holocaust and Phlox writing a letter, so screw that! What's more, it's hard to believe they worked so hard to play up the Valakians' suffering to so casually decide that they should all be extinct so that some cave man can have a chance to invent the wheel and maybe slaughter people because of an eclipse or comet.

And now the scene finally arrives. Archer confronts Phlox in the mess hall in the middle of the night, the former having trouble sleeping under the circumstances. Archer asks about the cure and Phlox dances around for a while. He says he doesn't think a cure would be ethical, because they'd be interfering in an evolutionary process. That's bullshit - you do not evolve into extinction, you evolve to avoid extinction. This idea uses that Threshold approach here, Evolutionary Predestination, that there is an intended path for things to take that we shouldn't interfere in. That's completely wrong; evolution is just a name for a complex form of adaptation, and that's all. Saying evolution intends the Valakians to become extinct is as absurd as saying that convection intends to cause earthquakes. He says that the Menk are on the verge of an evolutionary advancement, but that the presence of the Valakians will stop it. Archer pushes the point, but Phlox is unmovable on this. What's worse is that this isn't even an issue of choosing one or the other, it's a choice between peaceful co-existence or wiping out an entire race, and our supposedly enlightened heroes are choosing genocide over co-existence!

And to top this off, we get the Grand Dramatic Moment, which is Phlox replying to Archer's comment that he just has a theory, no way of knowing it's actually going to happen. "Evolution is more than a theory. It is a fundamental scientific principle." So is the Kinetic Theory of Gases, and guess what, I still can't tell you with total certainty whether March 15 in Philadelphia will be hot or cold. It's a fundamental scientific principle, not a fundamental magical principle.

Phlox asks Archer what would have happened if, thirty-five thousand years ago, some aliens had given an evolutionary advantage to the Neanderthals on Earth. Well, the answer in the confines of Star Trek is: nothing much. Why do I say this? Because this is almost exactly the entire premise of the Star Trek: Voyager episode Tattoo, which said that aliens gave American Indians an evolutionary advantage because of their respect for the land forty-five thousand years ago. So I guess the answer would be that, if someone had done that to the Neanderthals, the only change would be more beaded rugs coming out of western Europe.

I realize you're probably getting sick of me beating this point to death, but it's just so reprehensible I can't stop myself. Phlox criticizes Archer for letting his compassion influence his judgment. This is big talk for a man who is playing God here, and make no mistake, that's what this is. Think about this: let's say Bill is an abusive husband and father, and Phlox has to treat him for a potentially life-threatening illness, would you expect Phlox to let the man die without treating him because he doesn't want Bill to be a threat to his family? Or would you expect Phlox to do his job in spite of that, because he took an oath to heal the sick? Isn't that playing God, Phlox deciding whether a man should live or die based on his own judgment? He has the ability to stop it, but if he says, as he does here, "I'll let nature choose," would you say that he wasn't deciding whether this man would live or die? So if it's playing God to say that standing by and letting a man on his table die, how does it stop being that when he has fifty million people on his examination table? And remember that the Valakians aren't abusive, their crime is that they exist!

So it turns out Phlox has the cure, and the following morning Archer says he's changed his mind. "Someday my people are going to come up with some sort of a doctrine, something that tells us what we can and can't do out here, should and shouldn't do. But until somebody tells me that they've drafted that directive I'm going to have to remind myself every day that we didn't come out here to play God." Yeah, maybe someday they'll draft a directive on how to actually explore a f**king planet without screwing it up, but right now you're doing whatever the hell you want. Yet on this, you're going to ignore what you think and do what is, in fact, the exact opposite of what you did back in Civilization. Remember that, when Archer decided that people suffering and dying was more important than allowing some possible alteration to their natural development? If only the Valakians had a damn boat, their species could live!

Nearly thirty years ago there was this movie called The Final Countdown about a modern aircraft carrier that traveled back to December 6, 1941, the day before Pearl Harbor was bombed by Japan. Faced with this situation, the captain and his senior officers, along with the civilian advisor from the Department of Defense, discuss what to do. Their decision: their job is to defend the United States, and even if they are forty years in the past, that doesn't change, it's - their - job. What's more, they rescue two people from a Japanese attack, one of whom happens to be a US Senator who should have died in the attack... who, if he would have survived, likely would have been Roosevelt's 1944 running mate and become president when he died. The commander who rescued him knew so, and when confronted on it by the civilian (Martin Sheen) comments that he doesn't want to play God, which is why he didn't just push the senator back into the sea solely because he was somehow destined to die. This point is backed up by the captain (Kirk Douglas), who when confronted by Sheen on this point gets worked up at all this. "My job is to make decisions here! Now!" That was what was going through my mind as I watched this scene. As I hear Archer claim that they didn't come out here to play God, I can't help but reflect on how hypocritical it is to say that they should turn a blind eye to suffering because they believe that some force with a plan is guiding these events. Your job, Archer, is to make decisions here! Now! If you are not prepared to become involved, then head back to Earth and tear up all your warp drives, because it is impossible not to.

I realize this review is likely short on comedy compared to usual, but then, usually we don't witness everyone patting themselves on the back for wiping out millions of people based on a flimsy rationale without any scientific basis. In fact, the whole moral dilemma is a contradiction: on the one hand, we're told that the genes of the Valakians have been developing this way; it's not being caused by external factors, but because the genes are somehow programmed to work this way. Yet on the other, even though the Menk are supposed to be ready for an evolutionary leap, it won't happen unless the Valakians are wiped out. So, on the one hand, we have Evolutionary Predestination, and on the other, we have evolution influenced by the environment. The last time we saw someone bend so far over backwards to justify their evolutionary vision, it came marching under a red flag with a bent X on it.

Rating: 1

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