November 28, 2009

The Game

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide looks at The Game, the one where Wesley saves the ship... again. Riker, in his never-ending pursuit of the ultimate high, brings a highly-addictive game back from Risa that's programmed for evil. Plus, Ashley Judd.

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November 21, 2009

The Outrageous Okona

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide heads into the joyless zone known as The Outrageous Okona. Romeo And Juliet minus anything actually interesting happening, and introducing Captain Okona, interstellar pizza delivery man and lover of toes. Plus, the funniest performing in human history is revealed to be Joe Piscopo.

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November 14, 2009

Good Shepherd

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at Good Shepherd. The Delta Flyer needs to explore an area of space full of dangerous spatial anomalies, so Janeway selects the three most incompetent members of her crew to go.

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November 7, 2009

Shuttlepod One

Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide returns with Shuttlepod One. Reed and Tucker are stranded in a warpless shuttlepod, thinking the Enterprise is destroyed. They then fight for the next forty-five minutes because Tucker is a dick.

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October 31, 2009

Relics

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide looks at Relics, the one where they find Scotty. Scotty must team up with LaForge in a desperate attempt to save the ship from aliens smart enough to build a Dyson Shell but dumb enough to build it around an unstable star.

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October 24, 2009

The Disease

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide steps into a scary realm: the mind of Harry Kim. Harry falls for a girl in a ship made of pasta, which leads to all sorts of problems, and also shows how messed up Harry is. Plus, Janeway's cruelty is on display once again.

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October 17, 2009

Q2

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide examines the final act of the Q arc, and it isn't exactly All Good Things. Q shows up with his son for wacky hyjinks and a repeat of Deja Q.

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October 10, 2009

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Opinionated Trek Film Guide takes a very in-depth look at the second Star Trek film, the one where Khan's pecs return and Kirk screams his name a lot. Plus, Moby Dick, the gay action piece!

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September 26, 2009

The Gift

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at the transition from Kes to Seven in The Gift. Kes transforms into a danger to herself and those around her and must leave, though there's no explanation why Neelix has been this way for years and been tolerated. Meanwhile, Janeway helps Seven feel like a member of the family by putting her in a cage and performing surgery on her against her will - pretty standard really.

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September 19, 2009

The Q And The Grey

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at the next chapter of the Q arc, as Q decides he's going to mate with Janeway as the only way to stop a war. Worse than it sounds. See the mighty Q reduced to a mere shadow of what they once were in the stumbling fingers of Kenneth Biller.

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September 12, 2009

Resolutions

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at Resolutions, yet another Jeri Taylor story about Captain Janeway. It's about as easy to stomach as a tall glass of syrup filled with sugar cubes. Also watch Harry and Tuvok fight for pretty much no reason.

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September 9, 2009

Space Seed

The Enterprise comes across the ship of Khan, a genetic superman from the nineties who sees the ship as a way for him to conquer the universe. But first, it's time to humiliate the only person on the ship who likes him, and it all ends with a fight with a caulking gun.

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August 29, 2009

Death Wish

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide picks up where TNG left off, looking at the aftermath of the Q arc there and how it begins again here. In this installment, a member of the Q wants to kill himself, and through contrivance it's up to Janeway whether he lives or dies. Guess how that works out.

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August 22, 2009

The Motion Picture, Part 2

Opinionated look at the second half of the original movie. Kirk and company must deal with the perfect human replica clone of the alien ship, which is difficult because the perfect replica speaks like a 1980's answering machine.

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August 15, 2009

The Motion Picture, Part 1

An opinionated look at the first half of the first Trek film, which set whole new records for putting nothing on screen. Plus, silly Klingons, silly space stations, and even sillier uniforms.

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August 8, 2009

Lifesigns

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide revisits part of the Michael Jonas story with Lifesigns, the one where the Doctor falls for a Vidiian lady who looks like she's melting. Also, Tom mixes it up with Chakotay.

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August 1, 2009

All Good Things

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide looks at the final episode of TNG. Picard is flinging forwards and backwards through time in a desperate race against the clock to confuse the audience. Also includes angry midgets in hats, crazed supervillains, Tasha Yar, and a giant glowing thing. Also, Q has a small part too.

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July 18, 2009

Innocence

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide examines the other end of the bell curve from episodes like Tapestry and In The Pale Moonlight with this one: Innocence. Tuvok must take care of three rambunctious alien children while their beekeeper parents preach the virtues of xenophobia. Combines being really stupid with being horribly dull.

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July 11, 2009

In The Pale Moonlight

Opinionated DS9 Episode Guide struggles valiantly to try to find things to make fun of in this week's episode. Unfortunately, the universal "It's a fake!" meme has kind of exhausted that possibility. In this episode, those whacky DS9ers are at it again, as Sisko conspires with Garak to convince the Romulans to enter the war on their side, and winds up getting in a whole heap of trouble.

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July 5, 2009

Tapestry

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide looks at the next chapter in the Q arc, Tapestry. The artificial heart mentioned last time in Samaritan Snare breaks, and after he dies he meets Q, who suggests they spend some time being BFF, gets mocked by his dead father, and then goes back in time to screw up his life. Naturally, all that's a recipe for a classic.

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June 27, 2009

Samaritan Snare

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide takes a brief step back to pave the way for the continuing Q chapter. Samaritan Snare -a season two episode- came right after Q Who introduced us to the Borg, and follows it up with the somewhat less successful Pakleds, who manage to kidnap Geordi and embarrass the crew despite being too stupid to operate a vending machine. Also, Picard is trapped with Wesley on a shuttle as he goes to get his artificial heart replaced.

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June 20, 2009

True Q

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide looks at the next chapter in the Q arc. In this episode, the show is hijacked by Amanda Rogers, a young woman whose parents were Q and so given her incredible powers. Q shows up to be evil at her and make Picard's uniform burst open. (Also, last week's page has been fixed. Sorry for the inconvenience)

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June 13, 2009

Cold Fire

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at Cold Fire, the follow-up to the plotpoint from Caretaker that there was a second alien who might be able to send Voyager home. Naturally, the episode takes this wonderful opportunity and ruins it. Plus, the horrors of mental powers.

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May 30, 2009

Silent Enemy

Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide looks at the second half of the unintended plot from Fortunate Son. Enterprise is confronted by a far more powerful enemy that could spell their doom, so Archer decides to assign Hoshi the important job of finding out what Reed's favorite food is.

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May 23, 2009

Fortunate Son

Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide looks at Fortunate Son. Space pirates attack a human cargo ship, so Enterprise quickly responds... and sides against the humans. Makes even less sense than it sounds, but at least Mayweather gets to do something besides push buttons and hurt himself.

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May 16, 2009

Eye of the Needle

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at Eye of the Needle, the very first episode with a "will they get home?" plot. Dreams are crushed, tears are shed, and Neelix makes no appearance, so win-win-win for me!

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May 9, 2009

The Royale

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide turns its attention to The Royale, from the dark tight spandex era of season two. Riker, Worf, and Data are stuck in an alien recreation of a bad novel, and we the viewers are stuck in a recreation of a bad episode. Enjoy the perfectly preserved dead astronaut.

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May 2, 2009

Let He Who Is Without Sin...

Opinionated DS9 Episode Guide looks at one of the worst of the series. A return to Risa, last seen in Captain's Holiday, that actually manages to make that episode look like genius by comparison. It's manages to make every last person be completely intolerable to be around. Worf and Dax go to Risa to allegedly sort out their problems, but really it's so that Worf can be an uptight ass and Dax can be a self-absorbed jerk. Throw in an absurd conflict and an even more absurd breakup and you get the second worse DS9 episode ever.

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April 18, 2009

Shadows of P'Jem

Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide picks up the P'Jem storyline with the aftermath of Archer's boneheaded decision from The Andorian Incident. T'Pol is going to be reassigned because of what he did, so this requires a hostage plot for her to prove she needs to remain here, because since this isn't a sitcom they couldn't go with a cliche wacky plan, so they just have to find other cliches to use. Plus, Tucker's one man show titled "How Stupid Am I?"

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April 11, 2009

Genesis

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide presents Genesis, the one where the crew becomes animals. I can probably just stop right there, what more can I add to that? Anyway, enjoy as the makeup people get to have fun, the cast demonstrate those techniques from acting class exercises, and a likely discussion between Braga and Ron Moore over this episode.

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April 5, 2009

Jetrel

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide now looks at Jetrel. Jetrel was a guy who worked to annihilate Talaxians, thus making him the patron saint of the viewers. Also, we get to see flashlights and tie racks disguised as medical equipment.

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March 28, 2009

The Andorian Incident

Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide takes a look at the return of the Andorians. In this outing, we watch Archer get his stupid ass beaten again and again, but it's not all fun and games. The Andorians have mutated into bumpy foreheaded guys like most Trek aliens, so a hostage plot emerges and we get to see more of Vulcans acting like complete pricks for no reason. Plus, "sacred" relics, and proof Reed's the only person approaching competence.

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March 21, 2009

Q-Less

Well, with a few technical glitches, Opinionated DS9 Episode Guide takes off with the latest chapter in the Q arc. Q stalks Vash for a while, but has to get in line as Quark likes anyone who has money and can make him more, and Bashir likes any woman with an orifice. To anticipate: at one point I mistakenly said shuttle when I should say runabout, but at that point it'd take an hour of processing to fix a two-syllable word, so I hope you'll just ignore it.

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March 14, 2009

Qpid

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide looks at Qpid, the next chapter in the Q line and one of the silliest concepts. To show he's grateful to Picard, Q kidnaps his girlfriend and then traps Picard and his friends in a recreation of Robin Hood where any or all of them might be killed. He's funny that way.

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March 7, 2009

Learning Curve

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at the final episode of the first season, which hits a bizarre middle point. On the one hand, there's some remembrance of important issues that have largely been forgotten, and some characters behaving in believable ways. On the other hand, there's a lot of idiocy in it as well, and the return of the holo-kids.

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March 2, 2009

Captain's Holiday

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide takes a detour along the Q path to check out Captain's Holiday. This is the story that introduces us to Vash, the mercenary archaeologist and Picard's love interest. Thrill to the kind of action and romance not normally seen outside a PTA meeting.

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February 21, 2009

Breaking The Ice

Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide takes a look at the first non-B&B episode of Enterprise, and thus one that doesn't exactly suck. Learn about the Tucker's secret boots, the crayon fax machine, and the depths of Archer's loathing for the Vulcans (again).

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February 16, 2008

Faces

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide continues with a look at Faces. In this episode, Torres gets split into human and Klingon form by the fugly Viddians. Don't miss the universe's most unsuccessful attempt at seducing someone found within.

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February 7, 2008

Deja Q

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide looks at the next chapter of the Q arc. This is the one with Q being human and the falling moon, and of course, Corbin Bernsen, back when he was still actually relevant, giving us our magic reset button.

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February 2, 2008

Terra Nova

Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide takes a look at another hack rendition of a cliche sci-fi plot. No effort is made to add anything remotely fresh to this tired idea. Enterprise discovers the remains of the Terra Nova colony that disappeared less than a hundred years ago, and in that time have completely transformed all aspects of their culture... but haven't run out of bullets. Also, Archer decides he hates Reed.

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January 24, 2008

Prototype

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide presents you with this new version of Prototype: now with 100% less Ozzy Osbourne and about 60% new material. As before, nothing really happens in this episode, so enjoy a very special peak into the minds of the minions whom Janeway regularly torments. Prototype: Voyager finds a damaged robot losing life, resulting in a race against time to save him before the viewer changes channels out of boredom.

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January 17, 2008

Projections

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide gives Brannon Braga credit where it's due with Projections, where he is most in his element. The Doctor is in a maddening situation where everything he thinks he knows about himself and Voyager is questioned. Of course, all this doesn't mean the story won't be pummeled mercilessly; I am, of course, an endless volcano of general mean-spiritedness.

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January 10, 2008

Q Who

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide returns with the follow up to the abysmal The Neutral Zone. Q gets pissy with Picard and throws them into Borg space just because he's horribly bitter. Forgive my voice in some places, even with doctors prescribing powerful antibiotics, the disease I contracted from Threshold still hasn't been beaten. Braga may have the last laugh on me after all...

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December 25, 2008

Threshold

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide now takes an in depth look at the worst episode of Voyager ever. This episode has no redeeming attributes at all and may actually shorten your life by watching it. Tom Paris figures out how to fly at infinite speed and then mutates into a newt - it's even dumber than it sounds. The first video on this page is introductory and can be skipped without really missing anything if you want to get to the actual review.

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December 20, 2008

The Neutral Zone

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide takes a brief detour from the Q story to establish events for our next chapter, Q Who. In an episode that's supposed to be about re-introducing a classic villain and setting the stage for a new threat to the Federation, we spend most of the story on three one-shot characters with nothing to do with the plot and tons and tons of propaganda. I'll bet someone at Paramount actually cried when the Berlin Wall fell.

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December 14, 2008

The Swarm

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide now looks at a season three entry, The Swarm. The Swarm has two plots: one that's good, and one that sucks. With this episode, you'll also see how truly low I'm willing to stoop - yes, I freely admit I have no concept of personal shame, and I know this will probably be the review militant Trekkies will point to when dismissing me as a low brow buffoon. Well bring 'em on! I stand by my low brow buffoonery!

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December 7, 2008

Parturition

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide finishes out this Neelix Is A Dick two-parter with Parturition. Yes, this episode immediately followed Twisted, to show how quickly Neelix can jump to full ranting maniac mode.

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November 29, 2008

Twisted

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide now looks at the first of this two-parter I've decided to call "Neelix is a dick." This chapter is Twisted, by Kenneth "Hack" Biller, who challenges Threshold title of worst Voyager episode with a story that takes what might have been an okay concept and manages to suck all possible interest out of it. Cliche, annoying, or stupid at any given minute within the episode, it should be shown to all aspiring students with the tag "here's how not to do it."

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November 22, 2008

Tattoo

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide celebrates Thanksgiving the only way possible, by looking at how Trek did the worst thing to American Indians that didn't involve bullets or small pox. If you think this is Piller and/or Voyager at their best, you may want to shy away, as no punch is pulled this week.

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November 15, 2008

Hide And Q

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide looks at the next chapter of the Q story. A story that combines many of the worst aspects of the first season: the over-the-top performances, shoestring budget, unintentional silliness, and a questionable moral imperative that no one bothers explaining. The difference between Picard and Janeway is that she would have tried to trick Riker into giving absolute power to her.

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November 1, 2008

Unexpected

Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide now examines Unexpected, also known as, "The one where we see just how idiotic Berman and Braga really are." Frankly I could have gone off for another five minutes on some of the crap in here I've touched on already. Kirk is known the world over for being a ladies' man, but imagine if he went up to the green women and got them to go down on him by calling it a traditional sign of friendship - he wouldn't be the hero of the future, he'd be the creepy f**ker that didn't recover until he did the Priceline commercials. Star Trek in the hands of these two yahoos was like leaving your baby with two stoned guys who own a catapult, you should already know it's only going to end in tears.

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October 25, 2008

Tuvix

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide now looks at Tuvix, where Tuvok and Neelix are merged into a single being. For some reason, rather than going on a killing spree, he learns to play pool and hangs art, but can Janeway bring herself to kill him when a cure is found? Ha ha, you already know the answer to that softball question! Also includes a bonus video.

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October 18, 2008

Encounter At Farpoint, Part 2

Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide presents two horrible things in this segment: the closing half of the pilot, and my atrocious Picard impression, for which I apologize in advance. Sadly, the second part is even worse than the first. Special bonus: Trek elements that stopped here or didn't even make it this far.

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October 11, 2008

Encounter At Farpoint, Part 1

We kick off Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide and the Q arc (which ties into Voyager and is the reason I'm doing this) with where it all began, and it did not begin well. EaF is an awful story with a lot of the characters acting like insufferable dolts - no wonder John de Lancie stood out for his performance of Q. So enjoy, but I do admit, this review could use a little more cowbell.

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October 4, 2008

Strange New World

Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide looks at Strange New World, which shows us once again that these nimrods have no business out here, at least until they get their act together. Enjoy the historic arrival on a new planet: that's one small step for a man, one giant leap for white trash.

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September 28, 2008

Resistance

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at Resistance, where we discover yet another problem of the week Voyager will suffer and never see again. In this review you will learn the one true thing that can conquer any evil force no matter how powerful it is. Plus, the problem with evil overlords with low headcount for middle management.

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September 20, 2008

Heroes And Demons

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide now looks at Heroes And Demons, a story about how just how idiotic our crew really is. I know I've alluded to that before, but in this episode they show all the intuition and deductive skills you see in an average episode of Hee Haw. Enjoy the sight of Harry dressed in clothing that screams "I will always be a pathetic little ensign."

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September 13, 2008

Fight Or Flight

Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide looks at the first post-pilot episode, and things actually manage to get worse. We discover that Captain Archer is insane and that his crew is populated with bizarre phobias and fetishes. Plus, your one shot unstoppable alien menace of the week.

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September 6, 2008

Prime Factors

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide returns with a mid first season episode, Prime Factors. This little ditty repeatedly reminds us that Harry is a pathetic loser in every possible way, but at least he's a snappy dresser. It also features yet another chance to get home that fails miserably.

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September 1, 2008

Broken Bow, Part 3 of 3

Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide finally finishes off the pilot. In this we see the typical Enterprise laziness and extreme stupidity of all involved, from the pod mission to the ion storm to "hull plating is off line." Sadly, while the pilot is over, the series is only just beginning...

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August 23, 2008

Broken Bow, Part 2 of 3

Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide looks at the middle portion of the pilot, where things just kind of slide into the absurd. Here you will discover why every - single - person in the crew is completely incompetent.

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August 17, 2008

Broken Bow, Part 1 of 3

Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide looks at where it started, in Broken Bow. Thrill to Archer arguing with Vulcans, Gumby-like aliens, and the various misfits that make up this sad, sad crew of losers.

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August 9, 2008

Basics, Part 3 of 3

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide closes the door on Basics, the Kazon, and a few other characters too. The crew must retake Voyager from the incredibly ugly, smelly, and stupid Kazon, who are propped up solely by Seska, since their leader's an idiot. Also enjoy Chakotay's magic lava abilities.

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August 2, 2008

Basics, Part 2 of 3

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide's second look at the Basics cliffhanger. In this installment you will no doubt notice my intense anti-Neelix sentiment - well, it's fully deserved. This is his moment to shine and he chokes big time. Given everything that happens because of him, he's lucky the most that happens is being mocked by me. Anyway, the Voyager crew is shoved off onto a barren planet and forced to survive on their own while the Kazon make off with Voyager.

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July 19, 2008

Basics, Part 1 of 3

The first of three reviews looking at this closing up of the Kazon story arc. Seska's Rube Goldberg plan to take Voyager through the use of a child made from Chakotay's DNA is now in place, but will the idiot Cullah get in the way? Plus, the return of Grima Wormtongue.

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July 12, 2008

Ex Post Facto

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide examines Ex Post Facto, possibly the most pathetic mystery episode in all of Trek. All the birds down in Whoville, the tall and the small, think Tom Paris a murderer, and he's taking the fall. Can Tuvok, the Vulcan, a logical man, save Paris and stop Paul Simon's vile plan?

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July 5, 2008

Deadlock

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide takes a little break from the Kazon story arc to look at Deadlock, another Brannon Braga script, done in a standard Brannon Braga manner. Voyager gets duplicated in a technowhatsis field and Vidiians show up. Plus the longest human pregnancy ever.

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June 28, 2008

Investigations

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide closes out this chapter of the Kazon story arc with Investigations, an absurd piece with an absurd plot resolving Janeway's absurd plan. The Michael Jonas plot reaches its climax in the most lackluster manner possible - enjoy.

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June 21, 2008

Michael Jonas

Everything you need to get from Alliances to Investigations in one easy video. This review provides brief looks at Threshold, Meld, Dreadnaught, and Life Signs, and specifically the involvement of Michael Jonas and Tom Paris.

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June 14, 2008

Alliances

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide continues the Kazon story arc with Alliances, where for just a small moment they actually consider thinking outside the box before hastily running back inside it.
It's about a minute shorter than usual; I'm still recovering from the damage SP3 did to my computer. On the plus side, it finally forced me to re-edit the title sequence to give it a little better pacing.

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June 7, 2008

The Thaw

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide answers the request and does a good episode, though "good" doesn't mean a) it's going to be straightforward, and b) I still won't make fun of things. It's my way of striking back at a world that's wronged me once too often. The Thaw is about how messed up Harry's subconscious is - enjoy.

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May 31, 2008

Maneuvers

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at the third episode of the Kazon arc. In this case, Seska is helping the Kazon somehow beat up on Voyager, in a way that only makes sense if you assume everyone's too dumb to put their pants on the right way 'round. Also, enjoy the stupid needle gag.

Apologies for the thirty seconds or so where I sound like I'm recording in a bathroom; I needed to redub a scene and could only find my old microphone.

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May 24, 2008

Initiations

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at the second Kazon story, Initiations. For this, we've gone from the odd fur-granny blanket costumes to the "stuff I found in a dumpster" costumes. Written by Kenneth Biller, master of producing godawful episodes, this is a bad one even by those standards. Nog plays a Kazon who tries to kill Chakotay, and so we get to see the Kazon act like they're intimidating while failing horribly, like the chicken hawk from those Foghorn Leghorn shorts.

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May 17, 2008

State of Flux

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide begins the Kazon story with State of Flux. The typical Voyager things happen: Neelix tries to make himself a god, people get shot with no side effects, and Janeway decides to mess with her crew's head by assigning them silly jobs. Plus, Seska tells it like it is.

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May 10, 2008

Parallax

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide examines the second episode, Parallax, which is almost adorable in its awfulness. They need to pick a new chief engineer, so the battle between Torres and Carey is on, all while Voyager has to deal with a mean ole' black hole. Plus, Janeway decides this week she'll make Tom Paris' life miserable at every opportunity, and Neelix does unnatural things with vegetables.

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May 3, 2008

Caretaker Part 2

The final half of Caretaker, where we meet the Kazon (bad) and Neelix (worse). Janeway strands her crew and a group of civilians, and all doing something that is completely inconsistent with her behavior, oh, two episodes from now.

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April 26, 2008

Caretaker Part 1

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at the place where it all started, Caretaker. Watch Janeway's approach to a problem, rural people acting rural, and the bizarre tricorder fetish.

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April 19, 2008

Elogium

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at Elogium. This episode gives us a greater insight into the Ocampan physiology, namely that a species this messed up can only be the result of a supreme being with a twisted sense of humor. Be warned that you will learn things man was not ken to know as we look at Voyager's sex life. An episode so bad it border on being unwatchable.

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April 12, 2008

Cathexis

Before I begin, let me just say that's not my real laugh, it's just an imitation of the desperate laugh of an abused toady.
Anyway, Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide takes a look at Cathexis, another Brannon Braga episode. I haven't been deliberately seeking out Brannon Braga stuff to bash, he just wrote so many of the episodes -and so many bad stories- that it's hard not to hit a Braga script. This one is about a member of the crew being taken over by an alien, a plot that has been done so many times its cliche, but don't worry, we'll also swipe some stuff from the TNG one where Picard's disembodied consciousness slips through the ship and makes a P appear. We also see some frightening things about how the ship is constantly scanning your brain and everyone wanting to do a scan likely to cause them to bleed from the ears. Oh, and see how Voyager cleverly responds to threats by hampering their ability to do their job.

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April 5, 2008

Non Sequitur

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at Non Sequitur, a Harry episode. Naturally, it's about how pathetic poor Harry. My meanest take on Brannon Braga yet. Anyway, enjoy as Harry is re-united with his one true love... Libby, dammit! Because this episode is NOT gay!

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March 29, 2008

The Cloud

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at The Cloud, an episode where everyone tries really, really hard to overcome just how awful the story at the heart of this episode is. They fail, but they tried, they really did. Voyager is low on fuel, so they kick the ass of a living cloud for a bit while Harry and Tom keep the holodeck running into the wee hours. Plus, explaining what a voodoo shark is.

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March 22, 2008

Prototype

Prototype is the story of a broken robot, and how Torres must fix it. With as gripping as an idea as watching someone try to fix a broken machine, naturally we spend huge amounts of time with Torres spewing technobabble and waving props around. The only time I never bothered with a script because, frankly, there's nothing to say - welcome to the land of padding. Oh, as an aside, I'm not sure what happens when the video gets processed, but the audio for the music is awful compared to what it was on my system; sorry about that, but I'm not sure there's anything I could do.

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March 8, 2008

Time And Again

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at one of the first of many episodes that messed with causality and time travel and other stuff Trek does when they have no idea what to do this week. Janeway and Tom dress in horrible costumes and then frighten small children before letting a planet get blown up. Apology in advance for two things: first, I had a cold, and on reviewing I can see that cough syrup was really doing a number on me. Second, yeah, the rant runs a little long. Sorry folks, but, well, I say right up front I'm opinionated. At least stick with it for the blessed aluminum stick scene.

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February 23, 2008

Phage

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide looks at Phage, aka, the one where Neelix's lungs are stolen. Watch Janeway's idea of justice in action, Paris get slapped around, and a 24th century shriner. Plus, Lollipop.

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February 9, 2008

The 37's

In this week's video review, we look at a plot that boldy goes nowhere. Amelia Earhart is, after much build-up, brought into the story for no damn reason. Plus, Brannon Braga's "ancient" fetish reaches ridiculous extremes, and Tom does the impossible: he starts a Ford on the first try.

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January 22, 2008

Emanations

Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide has gone video in addition to the regular weekly updates. Today's offering from the wayback machine is Emanations by Brannon Braga, featuring one of the many dozens of times that Harry dies. Watch Chakotay act smugly, big foreheaded aliens talk to each other, and more cotton candy-covered corpses than you ever wanted to see.

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