OVEG: Meld

Description: The episode opens in the French pool hall, because Lord knows we didn't spend enough time there during Twisted. Harry has just won what was presumably a game of eight-ball against Tom, and immediately Tom suggests playing for a "friendly wager." Naturally, Harry is the most naive man in the galaxy and even when warned by Tom's holo-girlfriend that he's being hustled (as children and small family pets have already figured out) he still thinks he can win. Finally, Tom comes over and says emphatically that you never play anyone -even your best friend- who says "let's make it interesting." This is what you have to do for Harry, who can be swindled by a circus chimp.

Still, Tom does demonstrate a fair little bit of grifting here. Instead of gambling with Harry over a pool game, he sets up "an honest game of chance," essentially running a bookmaking scheme on the radiogenic particle count with a bunch of rubes. As the bookie, Tom naturally profits no matter the outcome, but everyone else on Voyager seems as gullable as Harry, because they all leap into the act. Still, to be fair, they bet in replicator rations, so it might be these people are completely clueless to the idea of a con... I guess I'll add that to the list of things they're clueless on.

And now we head down to Engineering, for some line reading by Torres and Hogan (the guy from Alliances that Janeway told she'd like to blow up the ship). It's like they both contracted Harry Kim Dutch Elm Disease; it's so stilted and dull it's hard to even pay attention to what they're talking about, but it's something to do with the warp core.

We cut away for a short while for Neelix to make an appearance. He's decided to torment Tuvok for a while, first by bringing up an upcoming Vulcan holiday, then by talking about how drab all the holidays are. This is a fine example of why Neelix is a shithead - it's insultingly presumptuous to assume that, because the celebration isn't something that he likes, there's something wrong with it. One of the most common memes of Trek is supposed to be tolerance and understanding of different cultures and ideas, and this is something Neelix fails so badly at. Naturally, with this complete absence of any kind of social skills at all, Janeway will eventually make him an ambassador. I'm waiting to see when she puts Paris in charge of the ethics committee.

Finally, mercifully, Tuvok is called away by Torres - it turns out there's been a murder. Well, I say murder, but anything that is used to prematurely end one of Neelix's rambling stories immediately qualifies as justifiable homicide. Anyway, the Doctor confirms that this was no accident, that there was a blow to the head that could only be caused by an object hitting a stationary head. Incidentally, they actually use real forensic science to do this in the episode, so while we've had an idiot Harry, dull acting, and an annoying Neelix in the first five minutes, I'm still leaning towards being kindly disposed towards this episode. Using real science instead of polyphasic multispectral quantum imaging is a very nice break from the usual.

Tuvok begins an investigation, but it doesn't take long to point to Lon Suder, a Maquis that Chakotay admitted tended to be a little too eager to slaughter Cardassians. Tuvok speaks with Suder, who denies it, of course, but the Doctor has found traces of his DNA on the victim. Since there are no rhyming lawyers on board Voyager that can thwart the DNA evidence, Suder confesses to the murder. Tuvok asks for the motive, and Suder just says "No reason." Tuvok can't accept that, so Suder finally says he didn't like the way the guy looked at him. If you see his freaky eyes, you'd probably understand why. Tuvok looks into the physiology of Suder, but the Doctor says there's no evidence he's psychotic, and his brain chemistry isn't that different from most other Maquis. Lord knows Torres isn't exactly the picture of restraint.

Tuvok goes down to the brig to talk with Suder some more, but he still can't get a satisfactory explanation for the murder. Finally, since it's the most idiotic thing he can do that doesn't actually violate regulations, he decides to perform a mindmeld on the homicidal maniac to understand why he did what he did. I wonder why he hasn't asked to meld with Neelix to understand why he acts like a shithead - same thing, near as I can tell. He goes and fills Janeway in on what he learned, which is the obvious: he's just a really violent guy. They get around to the unpleasant part: what do you do with him? None of the normal things are fitting for the circumstance, so Tuvok informs Janeway that Suder is prepared to die for his crimes. This leads, naturally, to Righteous Indignation. Janeway won't execute this man for murder... after all, while it would give her a chance to kill again, it would set a bad precedent if the crew ever mutineed. So she orders Suder confined to quarters.

Let me say that again: the punishment for murder is being confined to quarters.

Come on! There has got to be something in between execution and that! Please tell me we're not saying, "How dare you kill someone! Go to your room!" This is a punishment so stupid that even Tuvok has to point it out. However, the funny thing about the episode is that, rather than this being a case of pointing out the f*cking obvious, that it must be a sign that Tuvok was affected by the mind meld. After all, she's Janeway, she must be right... and anyone who doesn't learn that fact will perish!!!

And now we get back to Neelix, pest extra ordinaire. Actually, I'm going to spoil this scene just to better lay out what was going on, because the undertones are fun. Tuvok isn't in the mess hall, he's on the holodeck. He's not sure how in control of himself he is, so he's created this holographic version of Neelix to annoy him as a test of how much control he has. That is priceless. "What are the things most likely to drive me into a homicidal rage? Death of a family member? Witnessing my wife's violation? The destruction of my homeworld? Oh wait, of course, a few minutes with Neelix." So, Neelix (and I must say, Tuvok has really captured him well, as he is every bit as annoying as the real thing) does everything he was doing to prod Tuvok into acting like anything other than a Vulcan. He does go just slightly overboard in his efforts to make Tuvok smile by pulling up on the corner of one of Tuvok's lips, but even then, I was still fooled.

Finally, Neelix's rambling goes too far, and Tuvok grabs Neelix by the throat and hauls him over to the wall, actually strangling him to death! I am not the kind of person who finds gratuitous violence funny, but it's also my opinion that no violence towards Neelix qualifies as "gratuitous." Anyway, as was established in Enterprise, shooting, hitting, or just generally giving the annoying character their just deserts is an automatic best moment. If you actually strangle them to death (even if not for real) while they're in the midst of being annoying, you get that plus a special +1 rating bonus. Considering this is Tuvok, I'm tempted to go +2. Besides which, it's given me some new wallpaper for my computer.

We now cut back to Tom's little grifting. We had a similar scene earlier with the same result: nobody won, so the pot rolled over. Pity, it usually helps keep the suckers coming if there's always a winner; after all, Tom loses nothing whether or not someone wins, and if people are winning, the thought is often "that could be me." After all, there comes a point where you going to win more replicator rations than you reasonably will need. Anyway, it's all just theoretical anyway, since Chakotay steps in and shuts everything down. This leads to a raising of tensions between the two as Chakotay puts him on report and Tom just puts him down in front of everybody. Chakotay would like to bop him for that, but Tom did rock Janeway's world just last episode - you've got to be careful when you mess with the captain's bitches.

That's the end of this subplot, by the way, and considering we haven't had a visit from Carth Onasi yet, it's probable that this ties in with that. Voyager isn't the home of overlapping story arcs after all; most story arcs are about some pointless holodeck program.

What follows is an admittedly interesting bit. Tuvok comes back to Suder to speak to him. Suder is doing much better for now because of the meld; he's taken on some of Tuvok's mental discipline. Tuvok says it's only a temporary thing, that he'll have to commit to daily mental exercises to help himself. He suggests using the holodeck to satisfy the violent urges, but Suder says it doesn't work. Tuvok then suggests some kind of brain surgery to help. For once it's very subtle: Tuvok isn't really there for Suder, subconsciously he's there to try to think of things to help himself deal with these homicidal urges he now has.

Well, Tuvok heads down to his quarters, locks himself in, and deletes his security clearance. After that he goes apeshit, destroying everything. Janeway shows up with a goldshirt and lets herself in. Tuvok tells her not to come in, so of course she immediately does. He then says, don't come any closer, and immediately she does. You know, if she was wearing an expression of deep concern, maybe I can see this, but all her face says is "You're not the boss of me!" Tuvok is like a wounded loyal pet at this point who is essentially growling to make it clear that restraint could quickly evaporate, but Janeway doesn't seem to take it seriously - it's only really evident when he gets up and looks like a wreck that she finally seems to realize that she can't mess with his head right now without getting bitten.

Tuvok's sedated down in Sickbay, and the Doctor starts an old Vulcan treatment, which consists of shutting down the Vulcan emotional suppression systems for short periods of time to shock the system. He does this with some computer commands that are, presumably, using the little doodads stuck to his temples (where all good mental-influencing devices should go; that, or the bottom back of the skull). I don't know, that seems like a scary thing, that it's so easy to just switch parts of someone's brain on and off. But regardless of the moral implications, they do just that, and then wake Tuvok up. Naturally, since Tuvok's dangerous, three times as strong as the average human, and now has all his restraint removed, no one even thinks of using a restraining field to keep him on the bed. After all, he's behind the forcefield, and it's not as if any mentally unbalanced person would try to injure themselves.

Tuvok gets up and circles the bed, commenting on the feeling of being unrestrained. He asks the Doctor to keep him that way for a while, so he could study primal Vulcan behavior, but the Doctor refuses - he needs to stick to the established course of treatment. At this, we get one of those bits that work until you actually think about it for a few seconds. Tuvok, in a fit of pique, says, "You are not invulnerable, hologram. A few well-chosen commands to the computer and you will cease to exist." Yeah, except that you have no security clearance, remember? Or are they actually suggesting that just anybody, even the janitor, can come in and kill the only medical officer on board with no security to stop them? There's some foreward thinking for you. Well, hey, even if the only doctor on board dies, we've got an elf and a bookiee, that should do the job. Incidentally, I wonder why the evil alien in Cathexis didn't erase the Doctor, considering that he had all the more reason to, and he had all of Tuvok's security clearance. Did that incident make Janeway decide that the security was too good, and that it should be easier to kill the Doctor? Would that answer really surprise any of you?

Tuvok now taunts Janeway. He suggests that he get locked up like Suder in his own quarters, and have a nice comfortable trip back home while sponging off the rest of the crew. "Why, even Mister Suder and I could get together for a few hands of Cardassian pinochle once or twice a week." Janeway doesn't take kindly to the mockery of her stupid punishment, but she holds back for now. "You disgust me," Tuvok adds. This is starting to get fun. Finally, he suggests that Janeway solve her little moral dilemma by letting Tuvok out and he'll execute Suder for her. She doesn't take him up on it, of course, because if anyone does any executing around here, it's her!

When the treatment finally ends, Tuvok passes out, the field is lowered, and Janeway and the Doctor each grab an arm. "Help me get him back on the bed," Janeway now says - what did she think the Doctor was doing? "I didn't care for that crack about erasing my program, so now that he's out I'm going to dress him up as a china doll."

Later on, Tuvok wakes up and no one's around. After all, it's not as if he's dangerous or anything. He overcomes the incredible obstacle of removing the mind-altering devices by reaching up and pulling them off, then uses them to pull off a power conduit and overload the forcefield. He goes down to the brig to kill Suder, saying that he needs to pay for what he did. The truth is, Tuvok needs to kill, and he's using Suder's crimes as an excuse to do just that. In the end, however, Tuvok stops before the end, and the treatment -as if there was any doubt- is a complete success with no consequences whatsoever.

Rating: 7

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