OVEG: Scientific Method

Description: Voyager is approaching a pair of pulsars (tech: a very powerful star that rotates quickly, sending out "pulses" of energy). The crew begins the study under Commander Chekotay, who quickly turns into Rip Van Winkle: he appears to be at least ninety years old, if not more. Neelix then grows a series of spots on his face and begins emmiting foul smells (apparently the only difference must be intensity). He and Chakotay have a pity party.

They study as more and more people start having weird diseases, and they find a little tiny barcode on their DNA (sometimes you just can't make this crap up). Then Torres passes out and the Doctor is almost deleted, but he decides to go to the holodeck instead. He modifies Seven's implants (once again saving Voyager's butt) and she discovers that there are at least fifty-six aliens on board strapping things to the crew. It turns out they're doing medical experiments, which they learn after Seven catches one, despite the efforts of the chief of security to completely spoil the plan. We discover why Janeway has been flipping out and the reason for the mutations is because of alien experiments on them. So, the captain goes completely postal and decides the best solution is a suicide run at the pulsars (here's a tip: when experimenting on a ship full of people, do NOT drive the person in charge insane) The aliens leave, and everything is back to normal, except of course for the people who died. Pity them.

Comments: Gee, you think there's a hidden message in this episode? Please hold still while we beat you over the head with animal rights. Apparently Star Trek doesn't realize there's a rather big difference between animal experimentation and human experimentation. And those of you who think otherwise, please remember Nazi Germany, I think there's about six million people with a rather strong opinion on this subject.

Moving on, I love the woman with the 360 over 120 blood pressure. Slightly high don't you think? I think you'd need to take a stick of butter, deep fry, and eat it dipped in mayonaise everyday for a week before you approached that. Given Neelix the chef, it wouldn't surprise me.

Special Silvermoose Commentary: Where do I start? I love the doc's plan to hide in the holodeck to meet with Seven of Nine. Why is the holodeck safer than any other part of the ship?

On to other things, I like Janeway's suprise at Paris' and Torres' inappropriate relationship. What do you expect when you put an ex-convict and a terrorist together as your two commanding officers.

Rating: 5

Best Moment: Tuvok horribly blowing Seven's cover. He's probably just jealous because the civillian borg is a better security officer than him.

Seven of Nine Moment: Seven listening to the Doctor's possible solution, involving a device that causes extreme pain. "Will they live?" I'd have loved to hear a detailed reply to that: "Imagine how it feels takin a cheesegrater to your nipples. It's only slightly more painful."

Stupid Neelix Moment: Complaining about his eye problems, all the while stinking up the room. You can't see, well we wish we couldn't smell.

Continuity Question: How can they not sense the presence of these devices? Oh, that's right, they're phased! And yet, somehow they still interact with real matter? This was a little too far fetched for me.

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